I found this list in one of the books I’ve been reading in preparation for the “Sex Appeal” series we are doing in Cross Current now. The book is called “Uncensored: Dating, Friendship & Sex”. Designed for teens and is a good read. This is a paraphrase of the chapter titled “10 Things Girls wish Guys knew about Dating”:
1. Guys often use the emotional to get the physical-
That’s called being a jerk! Don’t do it!
2. Prioritize Communication over Romance-
News Flash! To a woman, communication is romance! Put as much effort into the communication side as we know you do on the romance side. Don’t get lozy and run out of things to say!
3. We want to be your girlfriend, not your mother!
Don’t play “mental games” with us. We want you to make choices that show good character, and we want you to be a leader and initiator too! That means even thinking ahead on what we are going to do on dates. We want someone to be able to lean on!
4. Tell us often what you appreciate about us, and don’t focus primarily on our appearance-
Yes, we want you to think we are hot and all that. But try to focus more on complimenting our “insides” than our “outsides”. We gain mountains of security when we feel like your commitment to us is more about who we are than about how we look.
5. Don’t be a “player”.-
Guard and protect our heart. If your feelings change or the relationship is not going anywhere, don’t drag it out. Don’t play emotional games with us just to get what you want physically. Remember, the signals you send by your words and actions mean a whole lot more to us than they do to you.
6. Remember that what we feel is as real to us as what you think.-
So listen deeply when we talk. And “don’t try to fix it till you feel it.”
7. Be strong enough to be weak sometimes.-
Be “steel wrapped in velvet”. Strong guys are able to easily admit when they are wrong, ask forgiveness, and seek advice from others. Guys, you will lead us through your strengths; but we will connect to you through your weaknesses. Be man enough to be vulnerable and truthful.
8. We don’t want to feel like your personal meat-market-
Go slow on the physical and you’ll set yourself apart from 99% of everyone else we’ve ever dated. We think strength is having your character be more powerful than your hormones. A man of self-control is a huge turn on to us.
9. Don’t spend big bicks on gifts for us or on our dates.-
We treasure simple things that you put time and emotional energy into. Your planning and effort in little things is worth more to us than any dozen roses you could buy.
10. Nothing is more attractive to us than a man of God full of character, guts and integrity.-
We don’t expect you to be perfectm but we really want to be able to look up to you. Know that your authentic pursuit after God only makes us want to pursue you more.
Guys, did you learn anything? I hope so. Tomorrow I’ll post “12 Things Guys wish Girls Knew about Dating”….